Ad Infinitum

Ok, sorry. I complain to anyone I talk to about how much coverage this is getting and here I am discussing it. However, this is the AP summary of the story:

Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs said he panicked after crashing his new Lamborghini along a highway early Monday morning and initially reported his car stolen after abandoning the mangled vehicle. Speaking to reporters after practice on Tuesday, Briggs said he called a tow truck after leaving the scene and then reported his 2007 Murcielago was stolen.

And here are the relative angles to this story:

1. Briggs is an idiot.
2. A $350,000 car that you don't know how to drive to "treat yourself" is proof.
3. It's nobody's business what he was doing out at 3 in the morning.
4. It's law enforcement's business to punish him for leaving the scene of an accident where there was property damage.
5. Leaving the scene (and maybe reckless driving if they consider the skid marks) is barely a misdemeanor.
6. Even if someone said they served him five drinks in ten minutes, there's no proof that he drank anything before driving. (No point in speculating.)
7. I heard he had the $350,000 car pimped putting the overall value closer to $600,000. (Possibly wishful thinking.)
8. If Briggs needs help spending his money after all that holding out and whining, I'm available. I can guarantee he'll have a good time and will not end up in jail.

I think this is covered. I was thinking about doing a similar post about Michael Vick but I just don't know enough about him. Wasn't he involved with dogs or birds or something?